Thoughts on Sabbat Ritual Timing

I may be alone in this, but I've been pulled to align my sabbat circles to different times of the day, depending on the holiday.

 

• Evening for Imbolc, since for me, one main theme of Imbolc is a burgeoning spark of spring, inherent in the seeds of life. To me, this awakening takes place deep under the soil, and so, to me, it makes sense that this circle is during the dark time of the day. Any sort of night / early morning.
• Then the flowers burst from the soil, and it’s Spring! To me, Ostara sounds a bit like a brunchy sort of sabbat, with the best time for a gathering being late morning.
• Beltane seems an early afternoon holiday to me- definitely something during the day.
• Litha feels like a mid-afternoon gathering would be best… as that tends to be when it’s the warmest, and it’s a holiday celebrating the sun.
• Lughnasadh rituals might take place in the late afternoon, as it’s the first harvest, and after a long morning and afternoon of harvesting, it seems right to revel in the harvest, while it’s still light out, before the sun begins his descent.
• Mabon is an early evening ritual for me. It’s a little cooler (usually), and it just seems right to toast the balance of equal night and day as the sun sets.
• Samhain is a ritual that, to me, requires full dark, as it’s a time of reflection, and communion with ancestors. The darkness erases the distractions that light might bring, and allows us to focus more deeply into the mysteries.
• Yule is the celebration of light, warmer times to come. To me, this would be a great holiday to have an all night candle vigil, culminating with some sort of ritual at sunrise.

 

I haven’t always followed this, and usually my energy is directed toward the coven circles, which are usually at night, but I’m going to make an effort this year to DO something during the time of day that I feel is correlated the best to each sabbat. Anyone else felt the same… or different?

 

D is for Doing

It’s been a crazy week, so it’s short, today.

Doing sounds like an odd choice for a D word for the Pagan Blog Project, but there’s a reason I chose this seemingly non-Pagan word. There seems to be two schools of thought when it comes to DOING witchy things (spells, ritual, meditation, etc.). One school is all about intent. Intent is all that matters. Do the spell you feel like doing when you feel like doing it. Don’t force yourself to meditate, if you aren’t in the mood. Don’t force yourself to do a ritual because you feel like you should celebrate the sabbat. The other school of thought is that of the doing. Do devotions to your patron/ness weekly, even if you don’t feel like it. Celebrate the sabbats, even if you are tired. Meditate regularly, even if it conflicts with other things. While neither of these paths are inherently bad, and most combine these two spiritualities, I like to err on the side of the doing.

To me the path of intent is a self-centered one, in its most extreme. I know that has negative connotations, but I mean that in the most literal of ways. I will pray when I feel like it, will do ritual only when I’m in the mood, will go to circle if I have nothing else to do and feel like it. The path of the doing, is the other extreme. I do devotions for the goddess, I do ritual to honor the celebration of the seasons/ nature and the gods, to take my place within the turning of the wheel. I go to meetings with my sisters to better not only my growth, but to contribute and maybe help someone else. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy it, of course – it’s very fulfilling, and the positivity tends to come back in spades. There is a fine line, however between too much structure and commitment to a path, and being lackadaisical in the following of a path. Everyone needs a break now and then to refresh, relax and process. So, we’re tasked with finding that balance.

One who follows the path of doing still needs to be self-aware of their energy and how they affect others, but all in all, I find that doing things for the gods, others, and nature rather than for oneself, is a very spiritually fulfilling attitude to pathwalking.

My latest trip to the Goddess Temple of OC

So, a few weeks ago, a friend pointed me to a page created by those banished (or left of their of own accord) of the Goddess Temple of Orange County. Having about zero drama in my life, I was interested in the drama from a non-emotionally invested perspective. I seriously should have been an anthropologist, or sociologist or something similar. Between rape accusations, defamation lawsuits, and more, these women have a serious hate-on for Ava and Morrighan. I love just watching people, and trying to figure out their motives, and untangling them... wow, that's distracting. After a couple of weeks, friends and I started talking about going to the Temple.

The last time I had been to a Sunday Service was well before Morrighan (the first priestess) came onto the scene. At that point, Ava was the only main priestess. The vibe was a little different, much more serious, and stilted, and, while I enjoyed it, I felt left out, as there was liturgy I didn't know, etc. Where to turn, etc., wasn't explained, and while I did get a tour of the temple, those who were the volunteer type people there, were friendly, but weren't terribly warm. I didn't feel like they cared about me, which was fine... I mean, why should they? I'm just some random person who dropped in. My favorite part of the Sunday service before, was the part where they asked those who needed healing to come forward, and us to give them our blessing, or healing. I thought that was a lovely way to help and involve the congregation. It was nice, and I'd plan on coming again, but I wasn't going to come every week or anything.

The only issue I had, this was years ago, was when the offering (basket, I think?) was walked around, and I didn't think to bring any cash... I don't usually carry cash, and I didn't even think about it. The woman who carried the basket around gave me a dirty look because I didn't grace her basket with my coin. And she whispered to another woman who kind of sneered at me, as well. I totally understand that churches need money to run. I GET that... but it was a mistake, and her mean look really turned me off of the temple. Now, I know that that woman wasn't a reflection on the clergy... but I am NOT a morning person, and if I get up early on a Sunday morning, it's because I really am looking forward to something, NOT to get a guilt trip because I forgot my cash. Perhaps I would have mailed something in, or something, but not after a mean and dirty look.

So, that was my experience with the Goddess Temple until this morning. I'm always going to be a little freaked out when meeting new people, as I have social anxiety (and it's not socially acceptable to drink before noon :). Everyone I met this morning was super nice, and friendly. It reminded me a bit of the old festival of Pacific Circle, where it took me a bit to understand that people are just talking to me because they are nice and friendly, and not because they want something from me, or have a question. People just like to talk. I did settle in, alright.

Many things had changed. Before, we chanted our lineage all simultaneously. This time, we went around the circle,each  saying I'm ________, daughter of _________." This aligned us all with one another energetically, and put us in a much more personal space than before. The quarter evocations, rather than being something printed on a sheet to read, was something that one of the priestesses evoked. They did a lovely job, and it was easy to follow along. The candlelighting ceremony was great, as well. People were invited to come up and speak, and for the first time, I felt comfortable to stand up and do this.... well, I didn't actually DO that. But I seriously felt comfortable enough to do so, which is a big deal to me.

Another thing that was new to me was moving to different altars, where the Naiad and Votress priestesses attended the congregation in many ways.  Cleansing, and helping, and incense... I felt completely comfortable, which is strange for me. I'm an overthinker. There is part of the service where the priestesses (Presiding and First, and Naiads, and Votresses), sit in the front of the congregation and receive blessings from the congregation (they gave us their blessings during the devotional altar part described above, and as priestesses in our own right, we give our exchange of energy). I feel like this took the place of the part where those needing healing received healing from the congregation. I missed the healing part of the circle, as that used to be my favorite part... but it was super obvious that the priestesses were emotional and appreciative of the energy given to them - it was NOT an ego thing. I gave reiki, and felt it was received well.

Overall, I was really impressed. Reading about lots of the drama, I had expected a crazy yucko vibe, but was REALLY pleasantly surprised. I am a high priestess of a small coven, as well as a leader of a large social group who circles together, and understand how challenging having a lot of people in a circle can be. Ava and Morrighan and their priestesses have found a great balance between finding humor and having a good time and keeping the quiet sacredness of circle. It's NOT easy to giggle and laugh, and come back to a ritual mindset, but you can tell their solid hive mind really helps with this. It's obvious that their priestesses find happiness in helping other people, and you can't ask anything more from anyone in your circle. 

In regards to their detractors, it's easy to point fingers. It's also easy to forget that clergy are people too. If Ava and/or Morrighan said some shitty stuff... well, fuck! They are people, too. They are allowed to have feelings and say what they think. I am super sick of people who think that their clergy/ kids teachers, etc... are above everyone else, and shouldn't say shit if their mouth was full of it! That was something my granny used to say. :) GTOC is Ava's baby. I understand this, as the coven (and tradition) that I started is MY baby. If someone is an asshole, I can tell them to eff off. It becomes a little different, when you are in a non-profit corporation, but I think that we all can respect that Ava has created something unique. And the camaraderie between her and Morrighan is palpable, and not a bad thing. If your kid is acting like an asshole, or you come to circle high or fucked up, why wouldn't I say something to you? I think that many people nowadays are completely too entitled. You don't "have the right" to come to temple, or say something on an internet forum, so if you are behaving badly or break a bylaw, you can expect to have to explain yourself and be asked to leave. My eighth grade algebra teacher had ONE rule: Don't be an asshole.

Even if you have a giant hate-on for them, you can respect their ceremonial structure, and the work that goes into putting something like this morning together. Yes, much of that is the Naiads, and the Votresses, and Ava and Morrighan completely acknowledge that. Even if you disliked Ava and Morrighan, I think it would be possible to be part of the Temple, at least at Sunday Service and stay emotional divested from the main clergy. If it was all about ego, and a power trip, then priestess Mata wouldn't have had the ability to create this mornings beautiful altar. The other ladies wouldn't be doing a lot of what they DO. So, for those who do read about the drama, go to a Sunday Service before you becoming emotionally invested in either side.  I think that you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Oh, and I'm going to buy a tambourine to add to my pile of drums and other percussion toys.

The Rede

I really am beginning to wonder what people believe the difference is between Wiccan and non-Wiccan. I suspect that many people who say that they are not Wiccan, may have Wiccan leanings. I’ve found that most people think that what delineates the Wiccan/Non-Wiccan traditional boundary is the rede. If they don’t follow what they see as the Wiccan rede, they feel that they aren’t Wiccan. Even if they follow a Wiccan ritual structure, honor the eight sabbats, honor polarity in their gods, etc., if they do any harm (or manipulation) as part of their practice, they feel that they aren’t Wiccan. Some are sad about that, others are happy, since many think Wicca is a fluffy sort of tradition. They couldn’t be more incorrect.


One of the biggest Wiccan misconceptions is that of the rede. The rede- eight words- “An it harm none, do as ye will.” That’s it. The misconception is that this is an ethical law that all Wiccans must abide. Or else! The first point, unfortunately, is that there is really no possible way to harm none. I’m pretty sure that the head of lettuce that your salad was made from is pretty pissed off about being killed for your food. I’ve read a few studies that illustrate that plants have feelings, too. We have to eat, it’s part of the natural cycle, and we must harm something to eat, and stay alive. Would you squash a black widow spider who made the poor choice of weaving her web on the your baby’s crib? We all harm to different degrees- it’s impossible to follow the rede as an ethical law.

The second point is that the rede isn’t a law at all. It’s a piece of advice. The word rede means advice. It advises you to do no harm, mainly because it will come back to you. Regardless of trad, most Pagans believe in some sort of Law of Return, Law of Three or karma. This is no different from the rede, really. The witch takes in the situation, calculates the possibility of any consequences, and acts accordingly. Wiccans may do harm, if the situation calls for it, same as any other witch. Each witch, regardless of what path they align themselves with, will have their own personal ethical code.

Kentucky, Part 1

I write "part 1," as I'm sure there will be other parts. This photo is the view out the back of my husband's mamaw's back window. It leads up the hill, to a larger, lush, green hill, where the deer come out to play. At dusk, it seems the entire area is alight with the twinkles of fireflies. The front yard is beautiful, too, and across the street is a green field, beyond that lush green hills. It's seriously beautiful here. It makes it easier to understand how one of my best friends came home, packed her stuff and moved out east. The allure of a slower lifestyle is very attractive. There is MUCH less to do out here. While I have four Targets within a half hour at home, out here, one has to go about an hour or so to get to a Target. They do have a WalMart. Also, they have some really cool shops. I bought a bunch of stuff while out here, and I have to say, I'm looking forward to Cato and Shoe Sensation eventually making their way out west. People seem to be more polite and nice, and prices here for just about everything seem more reasonable. At Chili's in Charleston, WV, I had a beautiful red tomato on my sandwich. I'm not a tomato person, usually, but it tasted amazing. Since farms are out here, the food seems to be much more fresh. I've spent a lot of time with my nieces, playing games, watching movies and hanging out- it's been a blast! I am still me, though, and am struggling with some major anxiety. And homesickness at night. I miss my hubby especially, but I found my ring this morning, put it on and feel better about missing him.

It really is beautiful out here, and I'd love to move out here if it would be possible. But the closest big offices (if I could transfer) would be Columbus- which is also beautiful, and Charlotte. It just seems like there is more DAY here, to be had.

Memorial Day 2011

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend in the US, a time to honor our veterans who have passed through the veil. This link is a good reminder that Memorial Day is not just about softball tournaments, barbeques and sunshine. It’s because of these men and women that we have the chance to enjoy our rites of summer. So, light a red, white or blue candle this weekend, for those who have passed. Even if you don’t believe in the war, know that these soldiers believed in it enough to put their lives on the line for us, and make the ultimate sacrifice. Light a candle for the families and friends of our fallen heroes.

Limitations

Do we accept our limitations or strive to break through what holds us back. How long is too long to work on something before accepting that it will always one one back? Five years? 10 years? 20 years? Is there a "higher Reason" why this happens? Should we focus on something else in it's stead?

I cannot do public speaking. When I first joined the industry that I am currently in, I couldn't speak at my first sales meeting. There were about seven other people around the table. All I had to say was one personal success story for the week. I eeked it out and felt profound relief. I've always had issues talking in front of people. I've taken speech classes, oral interpretation classes, drama classes, to try to feel more comfortable, as people have always told me that this was the best thing to do. Still. when I have to speak on a conference call, I fall into an overly mental place, listening to how my words sound, and basically psyching myself out while at the same time, trying to present whatever piece I'm supposed to be talking about.

As a high priestess, this hasn't really held me back too much, as I know what I'm talking about, and speak to only small groups of people (usually already friends, or brand-new friends). Sometimes during class or ritual, I'll find myself falling into that overly mental place. but am able to bring myself out of it. Maybe it's easier, as I don't feel like I need to prove myself or advance in any way.

This year at work has been a little bit better, as my job has required me to hold several WebEx conference calls with small groups of people. It's a lot easier to speak on a topic when I know what I'm talking about. I have never had any problems with training people, nor speaking up in a meeting, when I feel that I have something that needs to be said. It's just that weird middle- just talking about something- that's difficult for me.

Now, I have tried to push past this for about fifteen years now, and it's definitely an obstacle in my career path. My question is, at what point do I give up on trying to advance myself in my career? Do I have to choose to either be happy where I am forever, or feel like I'm Sisyphus, trying to forever roll my boulder uphill, only to have it roll back down, never making any progress. That's something I'm trying to work out.

For the LAST time, Wiccans are NOT fluffy.

.... well, perhaps those who call themselves Wiccan- solely because it's fun- are fluffy.*


But anyone who has any concept of the actual religion of Wicca would know better. There is this “Witchier than thou” bullshit that has made its way through the Pagan community, and it sickens me. Guess what? What we do is not more right or more wrong than what your tradition does. There is this strange misconception that Wicca is all about love and light, and harming none. This is incorrect.


The Wiccan Rede is indeed: An’ it harm none, do as ye will. However, the word “rede” means advice. Not law, advice. We are advised to do what we will, while it harms none. Most Wiccans believe in some sort aspect of the Law of Return, or the Threefold Law. This means that what we put out, will come back to us- summed up it means personal responsibility. Can I do something that might affect someone in a negative way and still be Wiccan? This is a question that does come up from time to time. The idea of what I put out coming back to me is what keeps me in check, regardless of the Rede.


Many people think that Wiccans shy away from protective magick that sends negative energy back to the sender. I am Wiccan, but I am also a Witch. I will protect and defend myself, my family and my coven sisters. Period. If I need to be the hand of the Gods and return what another person puts out, so be it. Does this happen often? No. Will I take responsibility for whatever backblow occurs? Absolutely. Will I still honor both the God and Goddess, celebrate the Sabbats and the moon, circle within the Wiccan ritual structure, use traditional Wiccan tools, and honor polarity, both light and dark? Of course. This can be a little different if one is part of a coven, as then we have hive mind and other issues at stake, of course- that’s where perfect love and trust come in (but that’s another blog post).

Generally, I think that Wiccans are associated with love, light, etc. because one of the goals that many of us have is personal growth and achieving a successful life balance. So, maybe Wiccans are more perky than your average Pagan? That doesn’t mean that they aren’t doing shadow work to get to know themselves better. And if they are- it’s none of your business. Our relationships with our gods aren’t your business either.


If you are a non-Wiccan witch and get offended and upset when people automatically assume you are Wiccan, examine that. Why do you feel this way? Wicca is the most widely known tradition of Paganism. Use it as a teachable moment, not a moment to clutch your pentacle (in lieu of pearls, of course), and gasp- “I’m not one of them!” Explain the difference, don’t propagate more misconceptions of Wicca. While Wicca is more structured than many other Pagan traditions, this doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for flexibility and self-discovery. This is just done with a healthy respect of polarity and balance. This isn’t fluffy- Wicca is more deeply faceted than you might ever think.

*In this post, I may generalize, but keep in mind, my generalization as Wicca and Wiccans, includes only those who are traditional-style Wiccans

Maybe it's in the DOING, rather than the THINKING.

A short, rather shallow, meditation last night led me to do some research this morning. I’ve been feeling disconnected on-and-off for months now, and rather than bemoan this fact, last night I decided to do something about it. I started changing around my altar, which has lately been a place that has accumulated items without a home. I have empty baby food jars, random candles, a homeless statue and other things on there. I started by finding many of the items a home, and then I decided to just light some of the candles.

I worked up another batch of tomato bug killer (in case it works), and set it in the windowsill, between the window and the screen, so that the sun might hit it and cook it. Of course, as it contains tobacco, I labeled the jar POISON, so that I won’t use it for anything I’d ingest. I think one of my problems is that my studio room has changed so much, I have a bunch of clutter that relates to my jewelry business that I’m trying to get off the ground, and there simply isn’t space for this stuff in the closet. Ben says that he’s cleaning out some of his closet, and maybe I could use that space. That would make me really happy. Plus, I’m still thinking about getting smaller jewelry spinners, because the big one is really beginning to piss me off, and it has no home. Anyway, I ramble. Hey- it’s my blog- if I can’t ramble on here, where can I ramble?
So, in the end, I did a short meditation. While doing this, one of the dogs came in the candlelit room and laid next to my chair. I focused on the ‘how’ of becoming reconnected, rather than the ‘why’ of the disconnect. Which leads me to my research project this morning- among other things, a big white garden rose. After the meditation, I made notes in my BoS, and realized that I am no longer used to handwriting. My ‘writing’ in my BoS is awful, unlike the emails I send, nor the blogs I write. It’s because my hand cramps so quickly when I handwrite, now. I wonder if there is a way to correct that. I appreciate my handwritten BoS/journals a lot- there is nothing like being able to go back 10+ years and see your experiences written in your own hand. Even if the quickly worded writing style doesn’t make you happy.

So, in the end- I feel that doing something witchy, rather than just thinking about it, wondering, analyzing it, will help to bring the disconnect I feel to an end. I tend to analyze things seven ways to Sunday before making any sort of move. But I think, that perhaps the idea is to just MOVE. To just DO something, rather than spend time thinking about it.