Maybe it's in the DOING, rather than the THINKING.

A short, rather shallow, meditation last night led me to do some research this morning. I’ve been feeling disconnected on-and-off for months now, and rather than bemoan this fact, last night I decided to do something about it. I started changing around my altar, which has lately been a place that has accumulated items without a home. I have empty baby food jars, random candles, a homeless statue and other things on there. I started by finding many of the items a home, and then I decided to just light some of the candles.

I worked up another batch of tomato bug killer (in case it works), and set it in the windowsill, between the window and the screen, so that the sun might hit it and cook it. Of course, as it contains tobacco, I labeled the jar POISON, so that I won’t use it for anything I’d ingest. I think one of my problems is that my studio room has changed so much, I have a bunch of clutter that relates to my jewelry business that I’m trying to get off the ground, and there simply isn’t space for this stuff in the closet. Ben says that he’s cleaning out some of his closet, and maybe I could use that space. That would make me really happy. Plus, I’m still thinking about getting smaller jewelry spinners, because the big one is really beginning to piss me off, and it has no home. Anyway, I ramble. Hey- it’s my blog- if I can’t ramble on here, where can I ramble?
So, in the end, I did a short meditation. While doing this, one of the dogs came in the candlelit room and laid next to my chair. I focused on the ‘how’ of becoming reconnected, rather than the ‘why’ of the disconnect. Which leads me to my research project this morning- among other things, a big white garden rose. After the meditation, I made notes in my BoS, and realized that I am no longer used to handwriting. My ‘writing’ in my BoS is awful, unlike the emails I send, nor the blogs I write. It’s because my hand cramps so quickly when I handwrite, now. I wonder if there is a way to correct that. I appreciate my handwritten BoS/journals a lot- there is nothing like being able to go back 10+ years and see your experiences written in your own hand. Even if the quickly worded writing style doesn’t make you happy.

So, in the end- I feel that doing something witchy, rather than just thinking about it, wondering, analyzing it, will help to bring the disconnect I feel to an end. I tend to analyze things seven ways to Sunday before making any sort of move. But I think, that perhaps the idea is to just MOVE. To just DO something, rather than spend time thinking about it.


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