Change (01/11/09)

Change can be a good thing, as well as a bad thing. This weekend it's a good thing. Saturday I spent unfocused. Esbat ritual was bad, as I made at least 5 mistakes. I'm disappointed in myself, but I know in my brain that everyone has those days, even those who are high priestesses.
On a positive note, I've reconciled my issue with eclecticism and my coven practice. I need to build an individual practice. So, thats my plan.

On another positive note, a spell I did following my circles esbat rite seems to have really changed me. I've had a different midset since I woke up this morning. Clarity. And a hyperawareness I haven't had in years. I don't know if its because of my spellwork, or what- but I'll take it.

We aren't doing well, financially (like the rest of the nation), my husband has been out of a job for almost 2 years now. Trying and trying and trying. He hates being home- he hates me working and him staying home. In his mind, he'd like me to be able to stay home. I've done much spellwork toward our financial stability. I don't know what else to do now, but I must trust in the Goddess, as I've learned many lessons in this tough time, and I now know that my husband and I can survive something like this.


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