Tiny Faeries Trampling on my Uterus

Some days I love being a woman. Being intuitive, emotionally connected, curvy, female. I’m happy to see beauty in everything- from flowers, to the color of the sky, and even in my screensaver.

Today is not one of those days. I’m on my period. And trust me- any men who may read this- it’s not like the Always commercials. It’s not a “happy period.” Whoever came up with the phrase “have a happy period” MUST have been a man. For there is NO woman in the world who can embrace her femininity with a giant smile on her face while it feels like someone is stabbing her in the gut repeatedly. Or crying for no serious reason. Or gaining weight because she’s bloated. What exactly is happy about that, again?

Oh, that’s right. Our bodies embrace this because we are lucky enough to be able to carry life. And THIS is something I can get on board with. I’m really looking forward to having children, and I embrace and appreciate the fact that my body is getting ready for this. After all, I don’t have regular periods, so when it does come, it comes with a freaking vengeance- to make up for all the months I got to miss. So, I understand that maybe my body has realized that I want some kidlings, but really- it’s frickin’ killing me this month. Of course, it must come during the busiest month I’ve had. With moving, planning a few events, work being crazy, etc. of course it would stand to reason that I’d be dealing with Niagra Falls and faries using my uterus as a trampoline-bounce house. Along with constant spontaneous breakouts of hives, and the cold from hell. Oh, and now I have allergies? Awesomesauce. This really isn’t supposed to be a ‘poor me’ type of post, but let me tell you- I am so ready for this month to end!

I already decided that after the move I am going to get a luxurious pedi, and I’m going to spend every weekend morning out in the sun, next to the pool. With a mimosa or something.